Song That Doesn't End
by The Phantom Dragon
Summary: Asami vs third graders... Akihito takes a dare which causes him to start acting strange and it's freaking Aasmi out. Naturally mass chaos ensues with Asami doing... crowd control! At a school no less. Originally meant to be a crackfic but deals with darker themes later thus the T rating. I suck at romance.


_**I apologize to all those who have me on alert and are probably wondering if I haven't given up like so many other. **_

_**The answer to that is no but I do hate my plot bunny at the minute. **_

_**My siblings are driving me up the walls with their drama and now my godsister gets me drunk on liquor chocolates then dares me to read a yaoi manga; which, while quite fun in the angst department, is positively dripping with romantic mush and people so stupid you spend three-fourths of the time fighting the urge to smash random character's heads together while the other quarter is dedicated to wondering how the hell any of them are still alive. So when I went to scrub my brain the bunny instead inspired me to redirect that energy at the writer's block created by the immense lack of imagination at my job.**_

**Chapter One: My Life Sucks More Than Yours!**

"…Rude, insensitive, demanding, CONTROL FREAK!" Mass raising of eyebrows was the silent response to Akihito's passionate, beer fueled outburst.

The young photographer had finally managed to slip away from the manipulative yakuza boss long enough to get join up with several of his friends without one of Asami's watchdogs reporting back his every action and possibly ruining the fun. One would think being rescued from a vengeful Triad boss would cause him to be somewhat more thankful at still being alive and relatively unscathed for the most part.

At least that was what Asami seemed to believe. Until you counted the fact the reason Akihito got kidnapped in the first place was as revenge on Asami. Of course Akihito hadn't blamed him and in fact had been deliriously grateful that both of them made it out of that particular episode alive and reunited. That was until the monster known as Asami's sadistic personality reared its evilly smirking head and the honeymoon glow was promptly reduced to road kill under the roller-coaster that was their relationship.

"Sounds like the kids from my old class." Everyone gawked at the speaker. Yumi, Yoshida's new girlfriend, smirked and unconcernedly proceeded to finish off her drink as if she hadn't just compared one of Japan's most powerful mob bosses to a bunch of snot nosed brats.

"Huh, you haven't met the guy so how would you know?" Akihito snorted and slouched further in his seat to continue attempting to drown out his sorrows in a glass.

"You haven't met my class." Yumi reiterated with a snort. Akihito frowned as he tried to remember what he knew about his friend's newest partner. Yumi was a design artist whose part time job in college had been assistant teacher in an English cram school. He had been to several such places on commissions and knew they held high standards. The idea that any amount of children could hope to compete with the devil incarnate he called a lover was utterly ludicrous.

"And for the record I know exactly who you're talking about." Yumi continued undeterred. "Asami Ryuichi, publically owner of a string of high class clubs- _unofficially_ Japan's own godfather from hell."

"H…how do you know that?" Akihito stammered, he had never told his friends any specifics concerning the nature of his boyfriend's work. That Yumi knew who Asami was was cause for imminent concern.

"One of my sempais got the job of doing a couple of designs for his new bar. Said she was never so happy to be done and rid of an assignment as she was that one." Yumi's grimace did not deter the tiny smirk that twitched her lips as she regarded him.

Akihito snorted and grabbed a bottle to refill his glass which he promptly emptied to the mild concern of the others gathered. While only a few of them had any memory of the intimidating looking stranger who had come to retrieve their intoxicated friend after that New Year's Eve party the numerous phone calls with their highly entertaining content nature were not to be forgotten. So it would seem their little Takaba had found himself swimming with the sharks and Yumi was determined to play 'my horse is bigger than yours'. Well, who were they to pass on the prospect of free entertainment.

"That doesn't count; you have no idea what he's like in person…."

"Cold, overbearing, intimidating while being sexy as hell in a way that should be illegal?" This time the eyebrow raise was directed at Yumi who either didn't notice or didn't care. "Yes I know the type. Is it really so shocking that there is more than one control freak on this planet?"

"With an army of professional criminals at his beck and call and probably more control than the president? Yeah. That would be a terrifying thought."

"I still say getting murdered or kidnapped would be a lot less painful than going back to teaching that class." Yumi shot back.

Akihito glared daggers. "Yoshida, I think she's had enough to drink for one night."

"Hey, leave me out of this." Yoshida held up his hands like a barrier between himself and the two combatants. While he was concerned at the thought of his friend dating a domineering yakuza boss he also knew better than to get on his girlfriend's bad side. The small, bespectacled Yumi with her boyish haircut was a misleading image to cover the headstrong daredevil residing in that cute little head of hers. Being in the doghouse with her was not a fun prospect. Besides, this was shaping up to be a rather interesting evening and he was not going to be the one to kill the party.

"I'm barely starting to get buzzed pretty boy," Yumi snapped, "and stop trying to dodge the issue."

Akihito groaned inwardly. The looks of amusement on his gathered friends' faces said there was no help to be gotten from them. He was all on his lonesome with this one. But he was not going to concede defeat. There was nothing more evil on this earth than Asami and he was going to prove it if it killed him.

"Fine! Care to bet on that?!" Later looking back Akihito would sorely regret his decision made in drunken haste, but for now all he cared about was proving he was right no matter what it took.

Yumi just smirked. "Alright, what are we betting?"

Akihito sat and pondered for a second before deciding the terms. "I spend a day with your class and if in the end Asami is still the greater evil then you have to apologize to me in front of everyone and pay for the drinks next time."

Yumi thought for a moment before replying. "That's not really a deal since the kids' temperament varies from day to day and they're normally good for visitors. How's this, the next time that class changes assistant teachers I volunteer you for one week. If by the end of that time you do not feel like murdering someone at least three times you win. Fair?"

"Alright. Sounds like a deal but can you do that? I'm not a teacher though I am pretty good with kids." Akihito was now starting to wonder at the wisdom of his choice as reality began to catch up with him. This was taking care of a room full of children whose parents were paying for the best care their money could buy. He liked and was pretty good with kids but Yumi was right, the times he had spent at the schools was as a visitor, making him a novelty to the students. That and he had absolutely no idea how to teach. "What does an assistant teacher even do?"

The way Yumi was now smirking made his stomach squirm in unease. "It's my cousin's school so it shouldn't be a problem. As for what you do, basically the assistant teacher keeps an eye on the kids to make sure they don't get in trouble while the teacher's back is turned. Actually a lot of them aren't technically teachers in the sense of having a diploma. Mostly you're just there to help the teacher in any way to make their job easier."

Ok that didn't sound too bad. Babysit kids in a classroom with another teacher? Should be simple enough.

What could possibly go wrong?

* * *

**My dear boy, how little you know *stuffs a fist in her mouth to stop the evil laughter from getting out*. **

**Ok so I was supposed to be editing a fic for a friend but this manga has been haunting my ass all week and for some reason I pulled up Lamb Chop's song while looking on youtube for a video for my class and as I listened the image of Takaba singing it with Asami blocking his ears in terror just popped into my head and the bunny has refused to let go since. **


End file.
